Disclaimer: Lyrics belong the Who.The characters of Angel & BtVS belong to Mutant Enemy.

Notes: Muse kept nagging me while ASH sang (man, what a voice) *eg*I was listening to the soundclip of ASH (as Giles) singing a portion of this song and started thinking of a certain blue-eyed watcher/demon hunter. *eg*

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Behind Blue Eyes

By Wendy Myers

 

No one knows what itís like

To be the bad man

To be the sad man

Behind blue eyes

 

Wesley sat on the sofa in his apartment, feeling melancholy.No one stopped by today.Not even Lilah.He had nowhere in particular to go -- no job waiting to be done.

 

No one knows what itís like

To be hated

To be fated

Telling only lies

 

He'd survived a slit throat so he could tell his friends why he'd taken Connor.But the only reaction he'd received lately was hatred.They all thought and believed he'd betrayed them.

 

But my dreams, they arenít as empty

As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely

My love is vengeance

Thatís never free

 

'You'll never amount to anything.'

 

His father's voice echoed in his mind.He'd failed as a Watcher in Sunnydale.Not only had he lost one Slayer, but two.He'd hoped to make a new start in L.A. and, for a time, he succeeded.

 

No one knows what itís like

To feel these feelings

Like I do

And I blame you

 

His thoughts turned, fueling the building anger.He'd survived much since coming to the City of Angels.He'd become a valuable researcher, using his vast knowledge to help Angel Investigations fight the supernatural.When Angel fired them, Wesley stepped up and assumed the role of employer.He'd done so much for these people -- fought beside them, taken a bullet, tortured...Even when the others became preoccupied with their own personal matters, Wesley kept going, a silent vigil.

 

No one bites back as hard

On their anger

None of my pain and woe

Can show through

 

He always kept in mind that Angel was still Angelus, nearly 300-year old vampire with a soul.For all Angel's good intentions and though he was different from others of his kind, he was still a vampire and a dangerous force.Wesley had studied vampires throughout his studies at Watcher's Academy.Instinct drove them.

 

But my dreams, they arenít as empty

As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely

My love is vengeance

Thatís never free

 

Hope and anger warred with each other Ė Hope that the others would come to their senses and realize he had the right intentions; anger that no one had done so.Heíd hoped things had become amicable when Gunn had shown up at his door.But hope was dashed when Gunn, a man heíd taken a bullet for, had come only for a cure for Fred, whoíd been infested by a creature demon.A group of demons released by Angelís dangerous mistake of conjuring dark majicks.

 

When my fist clenches, crack it open

Before I use it and lose my cool

When I smile, tell me some bad news

Before I laugh and act like a fool

 

If I swallow anything evil

Put your finger down my throat

If I shiver, please give me a blanket

Keep me warm, let me wear your coat

 

Angel made such human mistakes and they forgave him willingly.ĎProbably has moved back into the office,í Wesley thought glumly.He lay on the sofa, hugging a pillow to his chest.Wesley had done what he believed to be the right thing to do for all involved.Why couldnít they see?

 

No one knows what itís like

To be the bad man

To be the sad man

Behind blue eyes